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Deer and Morons

3/13/2009 Comment on This

deer in my headlights

When I’m driving home at night, I travel through the northwest suburbs. Although the circumstances are slightly different each time, I keep having these recurring issues – like a déjà vu experience.

Firstly – I seem to be some sort of deer magnet. If there are deer anywhere within a 20 mile area, their “whacked out,” biological, animal instinct GPS sends them in my direction. I am constantly swerving or slamming on the brakes to avoid deer. I even had to dodge deer in the parking lot of my ten story office building where nobody else but me has ever seen deer (I was not drinking – this really happened).

And ... for the record, the plural of deer is deer, not deers. That annoys me too.

Can we ship these deer to Wisconsin? Can we have a big deer cookout? Who can help me get rid of the deer?

Next - If you’re a city person, you either don’t drive much and/or hardly ever use your car’s brights (bright headlights). I hardly ever use my brights, even when driving though wooded areas on a dark night. It’s a pain to constantly flip the bright lights on and off when a car is approaching. I can see well enough at night.

However, I know I’m whining about nothing – but this is really getting on my nerves too. At least once a night, I am accused of driving with my brights on by some “John Q Citizen” that flashes his brights at me. Mostly, I ignore their ignorance (nice).

I know when the brights are on on my SUV

click to see my brights...

But occasionally, when I’m in a bad mood – I retaliate.

Oh those aren’t my brights moron – THESE ARE MY BRIGHTS

And I leave them on until the helpful citizen has past me. I’m not driving some off road vehicle with special lights – just a normal SUV with factory headlights.

So, I need a new product - a combo repellant that make a sound which simultaneously wards off deer and morons in my vicinity?

Got an idea where I can find that? Send me the Info