Frank Mahony: Septic Flush
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Wow - what a weekend!
If you don’t live way out in the middle of nowhere, you may not know what a septic system is. See, we don’t have sewers way out here – we have a tank and drainage field where the stuff that goes down your drains ends up (that’s why the front lawn looks so green). Every once in a while, you have a septic service come to empty out the system when it becomes overly full.
I’m feeling a little bit like a full septic system right now. I’d say the level of crud in my system is somewhere above my chest and rising fast – overflow is imminent.
In the last few weeks, I’ve been eating less and eating better - trying to get in shape. You know how they say your stomach “shrinks” and you get used to eating less food.
So, when you go back to eating “normally” and eat that way you used to eat, like I did this weekend, you get really, really stuffed…
(beep… beep… beep…)
Hang on a second, that’s my wife’s blog beeping in on another connection.
Hey Diva – what’s up?
Diva’s Blog: Lets not kid ourselves or anyone else, you didn’t go back to “normal eating” - you ate like a pig this weekend.
Well... Yeah, you know I was cooking a big meal... and I was tasting as I was cooking... and that all starts to add up…
Diva’s Blog: I’m pretty sure you had a meatball or sausage and some spaghetti sauce every 30 minutes. That’s not “tasting!” – The meat didn’t change flavors 2 times an hour.
Ok, so I probably had a few more helpings of meatballs and sausage than “normal” but that couldn’t stuff me like this…
Diva’s Blog: True, not alone; but when you compound that with the cheeseburger and bratwurst the next day, you’re getting there.
Hang on a second! I had those with no buns. I was trying not to eat too much.
Diva’s Blog: True again – which left you room for two pieces of pie – Mister “eating less and eating better”
Those were tiny, tiny slivers of pie. I was being polite to our sister-in-law who puts a lot of effort into those delicious homemade pies…
Diva’s Blog: Fine. But after all that, did you really need to rip into that huge plate of biscotti cookies I made while watching the Bears game?
Hey - I hate to let you go – but I’ve really got to get back to the readers of my blog. I’ve got them “on hold” on another connection. Thanks for checking in… see you later at home… hope your day is going well… you’re the best… bye…
Sometimes, two consciences are better than one.
Those biscotti should be illegal.
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